Co-parenting is difficult, but blocking visits is a very risky choice. In our province, withholding a child from another parent in BC is usually against the law. Judges call this behavior “self-help,” and they punish it severely with fines or lost time. Unless there is real physical danger, the court protects the child’s right to see both parents. You need to know the strict rules before you lock the door.
The “Golden Rule”: Support vs. Parenting Time
The biggest myth in family law is that paying child support buys you the right to see your kids. The opposite is also a myth: that you can ban a parent because they didn’t pay.
In BC, these two issues are completely separate:
- Child Support: Money paid to help feed and house the child.
- Parenting Time: The child’s right to bond with a parent.
If your ex is late on payments, you cannot withhold the child. If you do, a judge will see you as the problem. You must collect money through the BCFMA, not by using your child as a bargaining chip.
When Is Withholding a Child Actually Allowed?
There is only one valid reason to deny parenting time without a court order: Immediate Safety Risk.
If you honestly believe the child is in physical danger, you can step in. However, the bar for this is very high. You must be able to prove your fear to a judge later.
Valid Reasons (Safety First):
- The other parent shows up drunk or high on drugs.
- The vehicle meant for transport does not have a proper car seat.
- There is credible evidence of physical abuse or neglect.
Invalid Reasons (Not Safety Issues):
- The child has a minor cold or sniffles.
- The child says they “don’t want to go” (unless they are older/mature).
- You dislike the other parent’s new boyfriend or girlfriend.
- They were late returning the child last time.
The Consequences: What Can the Court Do?
If you wrongfully deny parenting time, the other parent can file an application under Section 61 of the Family Law Act. The court has a “toolkit” of punishments to force compliance.
If a judge decides you wrongfully withheld the child, they can order:
- Make-Up Time: The other parent gets extra days to compensate for lost time.
- Counseling: The judge may order you to attend dispute resolution or family counseling.
- Reimbursement: You may have to pay for the other parent’s travel costs or lost wages.
- Fines: The court can fine you up to $5,000.
- Jail Time: In extreme cases, you can be imprisoned for contempt of court.
Conclusion
Navigating a high-conflict separation requires a cool head. While your protective instincts are strong, “self-help” remedies like blocking visits usually lead to legal disaster. The courts prioritize the child’s right to know both parents over nearly everything else.
If you are worried about your child’s safety, do not act alone. You must apply for an emergency court order.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
Can I stop visitation if my ex is using drugs?
If there is an immediate risk (e.g., they are impaired during pickup), yes. However, you should immediately file an urgent court application to suspend future visits or require supervision.
At what age can a child refuse to see a parent in BC?
There is no “magic age” like 12 or 14. However, the older the child, the more the court listens to their views. A 16-year-old’s refusal carries much more weight than an 8-year-old’s.
What is a Section 61 application?
This is the section of the BC Family Law Act that deals with “Wrongful Denial of Parenting Time.” It is the legal form a parent files to ask for fines, make-up time, or police enforcement.
Can I withhold the child if my ex has no car seat?
Yes. This is a safety issue and a violation of traffic laws. You can refuse to let the child get into the car until a proper seat is installed.
